I’ve been questioning a lot of things in my life lately, where I’m at, where I’d like to be. This last year hasn’t be the rosiest for a number of reasons and shamefully I’ve looked back at the last 12 months and deemed them as a failure, which is not only unfair to me but to those people who have been by my side throughout the twists and turns my life has taken.
Am I where I want to be right now? Probably not, I’m 32 and still asking myself ‘what I want to be when I grow up’. I have taken what feels like a million steps backwards in terms of society’s expectations BUT with all that has gone on the year of 2019 was yet another year of incredible adventures and more precious time in which I was able to travel with those I love.
My life has dramatically changed, I don’t own a home or have a pension, health cover or even a steady way of paying my monthly rent anymore but focusing on that this year has, in turn, swallowed up some mighty achievements and I’d like to publicly apologize to myself for voicing my ‘failure’ when this year has also been a monumentally amazing one.
‘Being able to share my triumphs of my vocation with so many of my friends and family members is something no money or status can compare to’
First of all my Mamma, the woman who I have so much to thank for (asides from my obvious physical being!) this past year and someone who’s patience and understanding has shone through her own darker days to shed some rays of light on mine. This brave woman is fighting secondary (and therefore terminal) cancer and was just last year told she wouldn’t see in this one. Well, she showed cancer who’s boss because not only did she make it, she flew to the freaking Maldives with me just a couple of months ago! To be able to share not just the beauty of the tropical paradise with her but also the luxury and elegance of The St Regis Resort was a dream come true and to help her tick such a dreamy destination off her bucket (well, in her words ‘fuck it’) list was one of my greatest achievements as a daughter. I won’t ever be able to help her with money and I most certainly can’t gift her with grandchildren but I aided this for her after our amazing trip to Jade Mountain the year before and that for me, is something I’m happy to say I’m proud of. She’ll always be one of my favorite travel buddies and (as you can probably tell from my last post) has the meanest skills with a camera! I got my scuba diving license with her in Egypt, we drove mopeds through mental Vietnam and even danced til dawn on a bar drinking tequila in Mexico! Like mother like daughter never rings so true than when my mummy and I are on holiday 😉
Then there’s my darling friend Aimee is one of the kindest and most caring girls I have the pleasure of knowing. She’s been a rock for me since the day she attended my hen do back in 2010 and nothing is ever too much of an ask for her as a friend. She has a fragile heart and yet she has the strongest compassion for other people’s and I am forever in her debt as a friend. Out of all of my friends Aimee is who I have the most travel memories with, we’ve been on holiday together every year for the past 10 years and this year she accompanied me to The Maldives. There is no pay cheque that will ever replace how she made me feel with her gratitude for being there with me, her gleeful steps through the sand, our tear-worthy excitement swimming with wild dolphins and her cuddles to sleep at night after shisha and wine under the stars. Aimee’s life hasn’t been a cake-walk either in these recent years and yet her positive attitude and humor has never taken a beating. She makes me laugh even when I’m crying and to be able to take her to her dream destination is a price I’d work all year for all over again.
So yes, I may not get paid for everything I do, I don’t even get recognized for 80% of my work, even by those closest to me but the rewards are worth far more than the digits in my bank account and the title on my linkedin profile.
These trips were priceless memories and opportunities for both mummy and Aimee that they would have never been able to afford. I am very fortunate that Mems and I always had the means to treat ourselves to such wonderful trips, even before I started blogging but for my friends and family these once-in-a-lifetime resorts and destinations were adventures they could only ever dream of.
I may be back to square one when it comes to my career and my relationship status but I have achieved so much this year with these two things noted as my greatest. It can be so tough when your ‘life plan’ doesn’t pan out the way you had always planned it but I’m making a conscious effort (starting with this very post!) to be grateful and proud regardless of where I thought things were due to fit in.
Though I might not have it all planned out, there’s still so much more of the world for me to see and I’ll never stop working to ensure that my mission to see it can all be shared by those who have chosen to selflessly give me their time and love.
Where shall I plan next??